Went to the sports injury clinic again yesterday. Already felt a little bit better in the morning anyway. Not totally better, but just a bit more flexible. Anyway, I was prodded and pushed, rotated and leaned on for a full hour and afterwards, I actually felt worse. Apparently, this is normal and nothing to worry about. Hmmm.


(this is not me)

Today I woke up and the pain seems to have moved to my upper back. Don't normally get problems there. It hurts when I breathe in deeply.

I've decided, as usual, to just ignore everything, guzzle some ibuprofen, and get on with it.

I haven't run now since last Thursday, the longest gap I've had in my whole six months of training. I feel like I've completely seized up. I'm going to attempt 8 - 10 miles tomorrow morning. I really hope it will be ok.

There are 8 days to go until the marathon. Bloody hell.

I've made a provisional list of all the things I need to take with me or still buy.

Running shoes
Socks
Trousers
Running knickers
Green Macmillan vest
Running top
Sports Bra
Wind jacket
Bumbag
Water Belt
Water Bottle
Ipod
Hair bandana
Hairbands and grips
Suntan lotion
Spare running trousers
Spare top
Compression bandage
Ice-pack
Ibuprofen
Immodium
Voltarol gel
Compeed blister plasters
Hot water bottle/heat pack
Heart Rate Monitor
Heart Rate strap
Watch
Safety Pins for race number
Glucose sweets
Camera
Iron-on name letters for top
Bin liner
Jelly babies
Green ribbon!!

Anything I've missed?

Keep trying to work out if I feel a little bit better today or not. I think it's just wishful thinking. When I've been up and about for a bit I do feel much better. But sitting at my desk at work, and then getting up after a prolonged amount of time, it really hits me again. I feel very stiff and very sore. I still can't bend at all. I dropped 50p on the floor at Clapham Junction this morning and just left it there as I couldn't bear to have to pick it up.

So many thoughts going round my head at the moment. It's all in my mind, think positively, still 12 days to go, I'll just walk it if I have to, can't give up now.

I feel SO f*cked off. But if I can walk, then I can run. Sitting and bending be damned.

Not posted for a few days for various reasons. Main one being that I am injured and have been feeling so down about it that I didn't feel like writing anything. It happened on Saturday morning; I was bending down and twisting to clean the shower doors and when I got back up I just felt my back go ping.... it hurt so much I yelped out loud. Then I couldn't stand up straight for about five minutes. For the last three days it's just been the same... the same old back pain I get on and off every couple of years or so. Can walk around fine, but bending backwards and forwards, turning round, picking anything up off the floor, sitting down and getting back up again, getting in and out of cars, even really tiny forward motions like cleaning my teeth or doing the dishes - are really, really painful. It doesn't seem to have got any better at all over the last three days.

I've just been trying to carry on with things as normal, not give in to it. But every so often I make a movement without thinking about it and just freeze with the pain.

I think I wrote elsewhere in this blog, that I could cope with any injury that gets thrown at me - as long it's not my back. It has been the bane of my life for the last fifteen years or so, and I knew, I just bloody KNEW that this would happen.

Tomorrow after work I'm going to go to the gym and try and have as decent a cardio workout as possible as I feel like I've done NOTHING of any benefit over the last five days (well, I haven't) and I'm worried that my fitness levels are going to plummet. I've got to do something before I go out of my mind.

I'm trying to banish all thoughts of having to pull out completely out of my head, but they are there, lurking at the back of my mind. The thought of six months training going to waste is the most soul-destroying, depressing thing. I just can't even contemplate it.

I haven't run now since last Thursday, when I did about five or six miles along the seafront in a freezing sea mist. Seems like absolutely ages ago. I've got to get a run in in the next couple of days even if it's only two or three miles, otherwise I'm going to go a bit insane.